Why is it hard to find happiness?

Why does happiness seem so elusive?

I love this question. Its like why is water wet?

First, lets get you rewired a little, so to speak. Happiness is a transient state or occurrence that is converted to an emotion. We call that emotion happiness. It certainly is not a state of being. The ultimate goal is actually to be content. Contentment is a more static state. Happiness is based on something going on at a particular time.

You can be happy, but still not be content. Happiness is really more like a fix that comes and goes. Contentment is much deeper, which I think is really the question and a great one.

Contentment is not given to you by anyone. You give it to yourself by learning how to obtain it.

But to make this work, you have to be clear on the difference between happiness and contentment. You had a great food. You got nice gifts . You got a raise. These all trigger emotions we convert to happiness. Like a glass of water. You drink, its gone, your thirsty again. You need more water. You cant make water, because you never learned to. So you have to be given water, by someone or something.

You decide you never want to be thirsty again so you seek to find a way to never be thirsty. Your goal is no matter how much I drink or how little I drink, I will never be thirsty again. How am I possibly going to figure out how to never be thirsty again no matter how much or how little I drink. This is ridiculous, but you see where I am headed.

The first thing that comes to your mind is if I don’t get enough I will die. While waiting for water I will become anxious, ridden with worry. That makes sense by the way. But still, I don’t understand.

Happiness is like trying to hold water in your hand. It leaks out no matter what you do. What if water had no gravity. You could hold it and it wouldn’t leak out by making it lighter.

What is the difference between happiness and contentment?

Happiness is generally defined as the experience of frequent positive thoughts, such as joy, interest or pride. Contentment is generally defined as a longer lasting, deeper feeling of satisfaction and gratitude.

So I think the question is “why is contentment so elusive”? Back to the water.

Everything stems from the same issue regarding this topic. Self love, self care, all starting with self esteem. The value one places and keeps on ones self.

• Without self love and self care, you will not have boundaries. Boundaries are the same as saying, I matter. I deserve respect. I expect respect because I have earned it. You will need to examine yourself closely if you don’t love and respect yourself. Are you letting someone violate you physically or emotionally? Are you not forgiving yourself for something that you have done or do? Write down everything you like and love and dislike and hate about yourself.
• Do you speak to yourself negatively both internally and externally. Do you beat yourself up all the time. Tell yourself ugly things. Run yourself down to yourself.
• Are you involved in activities or relationships that undermine your sense of self worth. Do you often feel overwhelmed by these feelings.?The way you judge yourself.

This list of how we get right with ourselves is long. It also changes. And we fail over and over as we make progress. Start with coming to terms with the human condition. The flaws we all have and start finding things you like about yourself and learn to love yourself. Start with something small. Dont let people talk to you that are cruel. Take a stand for yourself.

You can have a terrible home life, you can be abused and you can be on drugs, etc etc. This will make it hard to be content because of a lack of self love. To rise to the level of contentment is work. It has to be a goal and you have to understand that it is one all of us are capable of achieving.

Happiness is the high that addicts those not capable of contentment. The fleeting feeling of wellness gets shorter and shorter as we age. Contentment is the only thing that will quench your thirst as you age. You will have experienced the highs that come with happiness, and the lows that come with life. But contentment leaves you well no matter the surroundings or conditions. That is why it is so sought after. It is inner peace in a world of chaos.

Contentment is called The Unmistakable Freedom!

• Be thankful in all cases and all times.
• Stop the coping mechanisms.The life of me, me, me. Do something for other people. Learn to serve.
• Stop reading about the rich and the beautiful and the famous. I know all these people. They are a mess. You could do it for a week, but it would wear off. Happiness, fleeting.
• God loves you, then you can love you. God forgives you when you ask, you can forgive you.
• If you are involved in a repetitive behavior that is destroying your sense of self worth, find someone you care about and tell them. Ask for help.

Happiness is an event, contentment is a lifetime. Your goal is to never be thirsty no matter how much or little you drink. Your well is inside you. If you stumble, ask the one who made you. He is really good at renewal and restoration.

God Bless.